Egotistical

Growing up admired, adored,
never hearing a "no".
Waking up so smart, so strong,
failure I would never show.

I was the most wonderful child,
the brightest student,
the most obedient girl,
the bravest maiden.

and my perfect existence
in my perfect world,
absolutely do no wrong.

and when I have made a mistake,
or said the wrong things,
everything was forgotten by dawn.

That is why I am so egotistical,
living in the fantastical,
shunning the practical,
betraying what's natural.

It's why I am so obsessively critical,
repulsively judgmental,
embracing the maniacal,
loathing the inevitable.

and my pride gets in the way
of my interactions every day.
Words escaped that can't be recalled,
Actions that make even I appalled.

and this flaw of mine,
seems larger-than-life.
No matter how hard I've tried,
I'm always a step behind.

Who will care for me, and save me from myself?