Half a Salvation

Constant darkness,
Endless sadness.
Drunken evenings,
Hopeless musings.

Time flies by;
a blur of visions.
Night stretches on;
strapped in the present.

The Neverland I have never reached,
Mocks me at the end of time.
Blazing sirens,
Flashing lights,
Leading me to the Hall of White.

I am here by your decree,
and am now left alone.
Where is my savior,
when I shiver naked in the cold?

Traffic of whispers,
Rush of nerves.
Silent sufferings,
Emptiness burns.

You've rescued me from my lonesome world,
only to throw me back for more.
You've saved me from the Room of Gloom,
only to stop me at the door.

You are half a hero,
half a martyr.
Made me half of a whole.
I feel half-better.

A half-hearted job done on a broken soul.
A half-minded lie repeatedly told.
Do you know that you can never return to whole,
when you give out half-pieces of your soul?

A half of me you call your own.
The other half slowly erodes.
In the consciousness of my half-existence,
May I leave before the end unfolds?

I only want to be saved as a whole,
so I can finally feel complete on my own.
But you have never followed through...
I need you to follow through.

So farewell my half-hero,
our half-destinies have untangled.
Someone somewhere will fill my soul.
I will one day again be whole.

Last Exit Before Crazyville

A rollercoaster is less thrilling
than the ups and downs of our feelings.
A second, or third chance was all I've got,
but with you...

You are exceptional.

You're my mother, my brother,
my lover, my friend.
My multi-colored morning sun.
My answer-to-all Coke and rum.

For every criticism you gave,
in return I showered you with warmth and kindness;
and every condescending tone in which you spoke,
was met with infinite tolerance and open-mindedness.

With every shred of my dignity,
I gave away all that I hold dear,
because of that speck of imperceptible hope,
that one day you will see clear.

But the price I pay for this make-believe martyrdom!

To give myself away until nothing's left.
To betray my mind and my values kept.

Because I am exceptional.

You are my future, my past,
my first, my last.
You are my glory, my shame,
my reality, my fate.

My life surrounds you.
I am who you are.
And with my last attempt for sanity,
I must push you out and leave you far.

You have consumed my truth.
I must recover from this hurt.
End this Parasitic Love Affair.
Our lies buried deep beneath the dirt.

Because without you, I am stronger.
Without you, I fight better.
Without you, I smile wider.
Without you, I go further.

At this last step before Judgment,
I have nothing to lose, and all to gain.
You will no longer ignite my fears,
nor instigate a thousand tears.

All hope is lost,
of ever saving you from your endless sorrows.
I will no longer make this meaningless sacrifice.
the same I hope you will one day realize.

Because babe, it's every man for himself now.