Egotistical

Growing up admired, adored,
never hearing a "no".
Waking up so smart, so strong,
failure I would never show.

I was the most wonderful child,
the brightest student,
the most obedient girl,
the bravest maiden.

and my perfect existence
in my perfect world,
absolutely do no wrong.

and when I have made a mistake,
or said the wrong things,
everything was forgotten by dawn.

That is why I am so egotistical,
living in the fantastical,
shunning the practical,
betraying what's natural.

It's why I am so obsessively critical,
repulsively judgmental,
embracing the maniacal,
loathing the inevitable.

and my pride gets in the way
of my interactions every day.
Words escaped that can't be recalled,
Actions that make even I appalled.

and this flaw of mine,
seems larger-than-life.
No matter how hard I've tried,
I'm always a step behind.

Who will care for me, and save me from myself?

Phoenix Reborn

A suffocating night
made glorious by this unnerving sight.
I tried to catch my breath,
but this marathon never ends.

Didn't you know that I've got to get away,
away from this pain?
Didn't you see this coming?
I'm leaving your reality, dreams amidst my wings.

The world does not exist upon your shoulders.
The sun refuses your commands.
I am not a gullible actor,
trotting on the fragile stage you've set.

There is no second chance.
There is no turning back.
All that is between us are memories left
of the time you've strangled me to my death.

Time will heal all pain but mine,
so I must leave time behind.
I paved the way to my own destination,
and from there, the bridge to our salvation.

Didn't you know that this day would come
when we must say goodbye?
Didn't you prepare for this moment,
the funeral of our lies?

I am waiting for my moment to shine,
to arise from the ashes like a phoenix in the sky.
I will reborn under the vivid twilight,
flapping my wings towards the horizon that will once again be mine.